Seeking Restorative Justice in America: Can I be part of this journey?
This is a five-part series of “Seeking Restorative Justice in America”. Find the first part here (introducing Justice X Love Model), the second part here (Seeking Restorative Justice in Society, Church and Politics), the third part here (Seeking Restorative Justice in America as an Asian Immigrant_Part1: Justice), and the fourth part here (Seeking Restorative Justice in America as an Asian Immigrant_Part2: Love)
Ever noticed a generational scar in your marriage? A deeply rooted Speck that was passed down from ancestors? I had one in my marriage and it was anger. My father, who grew up in a deeply dysfunctional family in post Korean war, never learned how to process his anger. And even though he deeply loved myself and my mom, there were times that he didn’t know how to control his emotion. And those moments traumatized me at the core towards the emotion of “anger”. I simply didn’t know how to process it nor face it. When my wife showed even a glimpse of anger (which is rightfully so being my wife), I quickly disengaged with her and treated her with silent ignorance. In my heart, she was wrong by being angry and I was right by not expressing that emotion. But I was angry as well. Only difference is that my anger was “cold anger” and I didn’t even recognize that as an anger. It took us multiple painful but truthful moments, fightings, counselings, and a couple of years to even name this Speck fully. And it’s still part of the process. I still get traumatized when I face that emotion. But we are in so much better stage than before as we are seeking the truth humbly, and seeking to love truthfully. I realized this truth. When we don’t take out the speck in the relationship, when we don’t name the elephant in the room and face the devil, we can never fully move on and be united.
Racism is the generational scar in US. It’s at the core of the birth of this country. Dehumanizing and discriminating other people based on their skin color over multiple centuries are a deeply demonic tragedy that we can’t live with any more. None of us can be a stranger nor guest in this issue of racism. We can’t be a whole without addressing this fatal disease that is taxing all of us. And it can only happen in America that even someone like myself to be invited in this journey of restoration. That’d be the most American thing to do. The fruit of this fight will be a huge blessing to everyone. And the whole world can be benefited from the restoration and reconciliation. This can be a moment of history where the Apartheid in our heart is broken and redeemed.
The journey to restoration might be slow. Might be hurtful. Might be offensive. That’s why we need a lot of love and grace.
I found a letter from African American woman from my friend’s FB wall and was deeply inspired (attaching at the bottom). And for me, this is exactly why we can’t not-engage in this matter. Even in the case, as some conservatives argue, that the tragic death of George Floyd might not be an entirely race issue, that the systemic police racism is a myth that are portrayed by media and left party, that the issue of “racism” is used as a strong political weapon and disproportionately brought up before the election season, we can’t not fight for this battle. We can’t afford to lose this chance again. Without this fight, we can’t make America great (as some political slogan goes).
Can I be part of this journey of seeking love and justice until we attain the fullness of unity? And would you?
This has been my journey so far. And I humbly want to ask this question. Can I be part of this journey? I might offend you because of my version of “justice” might be different from you. I might offend you because of my ignorance or illiteracy. Would you still have me in this journey? Can I seek your favor and grace?
Also, want to ask you this. Would you be part of this journey or seeking love and justice?. We all are beautifully and wonderfully made to seek justice and seek true unity in love. Only after every respective party and community come to the place of seeking both justice and love, we will be able to truly experience who we always meant to be.
#CanIbepartofthisjourney? #DoesBlacklivesmatter? #Ofcourseitdoes #Blacklivesareworthy #Blacklivesarebeloved #Blacklivesareneeded #Asiansforblacklives #Untilthedateweattainthefullunity
ON THE TEMPERATURE OF THE MOMENT……
Obviously, there is a lot going on right now, but honestly, after this many occurrences, I’m desensitized. After this much I’m exhausted. Is it bad that I expected white outrage over protests and white silence over the issue? That I expected black outrage and black exhaustion? I expected media twists and crazy comments from the “President” of the USA. I expected anger to last a week or 2 and die.
Well, I did. But there are so many things I did not expect.
I did not expect multiple of my NON-BLACK friends to check in on me and even ask me if I PERSONALLY need anything. Not to ask me what can they do or to explain what happened but to make sure I am doing okay mentally.
I did not expect my predominantly white church to surprise cancel evening services and replace them with an hour and a half of super real and valuable conversation with black members that did not hold back on the black perspective (seriously they called out themselves for the fact that black people can follow white pastors but rarely do white people follow black pastors), educated non-blacks, and told them that it is their responsibility to also educate themselves.
I did not expect to take a Peloton class with my man and have him not only lower the music just to announce that as a white person he is done being silent but also literally pressure his viewers to do the same. He said he was angry. He said enough is enough. He also spent his time calling out #blacklivesmatter and #iRidewithAhmaud hashtags instead “KarenRides4Wine”. OH, and he literally tied back every exercise to being strong and fighting for the movement. #wow
I did not expect to go through Facebook and see SO MANY “Black Lives Matter” posts from people who NEVER speak on these topics or even post at all. Every single post made my heart melt. Especially the ones that took it further by going into more detail.
I did not expect my entire music industry to go SILENT, especially during COVID, to create a space for dialogue and conversation. And on top of that giving out resources via their channels and emails on how to educate yourself and the many ways to DO something and how to be safe during protesting.
I did not expect to see so many non-black friends take such huge stances from public speeches, to dedicating their social media platforms to the cause, to creating art and spreading awareness.
I always expect to feel dark, avoidant and protective of my overly empathetic heart especially at a time like Corona where I am already struggling.
I ALWAYS have my black community. This time they’re showing up strong by not only emphasizing peace but also sharing their messages of hope and love, not hate, and by opening up to share trauma from their past so that people know we are not making our black experiences up. Bless you.
But I did not expect for so many of my non-black friends to be the ones giving me the strength to feel above the line and finally not alone in my blackness. Thank you.
I always feel so stuck underwater…but now I’m treading. The boat isn’t here yet and I haven’t yet made it to land but this is huge progress.
I’m currently obsessed with one of the Greek words for love “Philia”: The highest valued form of love for the Greeks, philia concerns the deep comradely friendship that develops between brothers in arms who fight side by side on the battlefield. It Is about showing loyalty to your friends, sacrificing for them, as well as sharing your emotions with them. I’m so so happy to have Philia with so many of you. And I’m so proud.
At a time like this, I am enamored that I have had many moments of tears of JOY. I know the fight is not over, but this time around just feels different. Everyone of every race is finally asking “what’s after the protest”. Sharing resources where you can sign ALL the petitions, even somehow affect voting in a swing state.
I’m so grateful for literally everyone in my life and so proud of literally all of my friends. If I must say so myself, “I did good” with my circle.
Love you all, Peace & Love
