This is a four-part series of “Seeking Restorative Justice in America”. Find the second part here (Seeking Restorative Justice in Society, Church and Politics), the third part here (Seeking Restorative Justice in America as an Asian Immigrant_Part1:Justice), and the fourth part here (Seeking Restorative Justice in America as an Asian Immigrant_Part2: Love).
It may be that when we no longer know what to do, we have come to our real work and when we no longer know which way to go, we have begun our real journey. The mind that is not baffled is not employed. The impeded stream is the one that sings. — Wendell Berry
I write this letter from a baffled personal state, longing to do something and not knowing what to do. Ever since the tragic death of George Floyd happened, I was overwhelmed by countless floating emotions. I was angry by how he was murdered and charged to do something. But I also felt inadequate to do/say anything as an outsider who know very little about the issue of racism. I felt taken aback when I saw things like “silent is not an action, don’t be complacent, be on the right side of history.” But I also I felt frustrated by lack of acknowledgments on this matter from my close community. I was perplexed, confused and overwhelmed. The list goes on an on.
I decided to stand still in that heaviness. As I get myself educated on this matter, I was deeply blessed when coming across how other people are processing things. Learning other’s hearts/minds helped me to process such a n emotionally charged and complex matter. So this is my attempt to get the heavy heart off my chest and seeking to connect with people around me. Let me briefly warn you, I’m an Asian immigrant who’s been living in US for less than ten years and English isn’t my native language. So you might encounter many disjointed and rambling thoughts and grammar errors. Here we go.
A few voices that I’ve noticed
- From White female: I confess that I don’t know much about the issue of racism. But I’d love to listen, learn and change.
2. From White/Asian/Black people: #BLM — Black life matters. Silent is not an option. Start doing something. Don’t be complacent.
Asian American Complicity in Racism: What many Asian Americans fail to realize is that our success is largely built on the backs of African Americans themselves. After all, if African American slavery did not exist, the United States may not have been such a desirable country to immigrate to. It was through the enslavement of African Americans that American prosperity was built in the first place.
3. From White female: BLM but how about looting? How about other lives? #Alllivesmatter #shutupanddribble
4. From White male: It’s hard for me to support BLM as I don’t see the spirit behind is fundamentally biblical.
I get that there’s an issue of Racism. However, the reason why I can’t support BLM (not as an individual level but the movement as a whole) or the spirit behind that (from what I understand) is that it’s not biblical .There’s no spirit of love/grace/self-reflection/repentance of one’s own wrongdoing there.
4. From Black male: I’m numb to the racism. I don’t want to engage much on social media. It’s tiring.
San, I’m trying to figure out how to discuss these issues with my daughter. Honestly, I’m numb to the racism. The frustrating part is everything that comes after…the politicizing, the disparate strategies, the fake advocacy, the narrative-building, etc. That’s the tiring piece.
5. From Black male: Social media hashtag wouldn’t do much. Sending empty email is offensive.
Collin Wallace: Please don’t send me emails of support, open the door
6. From Black female: The whole BLM movement is influenced and coerced by political forces. I refuge to engage and associate.
Casey Owens: George Floyd’s image is made up by media and used by left wing party
7. From Black Males: Racial injustice is overrated. We shouldn’t be using that as an excuse for the failure from our own behavior.
8. From Black Christian: I’m exhausted but I have hope. And I’m so thankful for being who I am and how I was made.
Answering how am I doing after the traumatizing death of George Floyd is not easy at all. Engaging in this conversation without skepticism, hatred, fear, and pessimism needs tremendous amount of courage and deliberate efforts. But I’m not going to stop trying. I’m grieving but hoping that one day we can truly bear one another’s burden as we are all called to do.
9. From Asian Immigrant: I found it hypocritical for people to jump on an issue not fully knowing what they are saying.
Yes, Racism is bad but now that the killer policeman were convicted guilty, why are people still protesting? Many people I know were looted or living in the fear of looting. I don’t get why people are protesting, and I also don’t want to associate with those vocal voices on social media. I see a lot of “moral credentialing”.
10. From Asian American: It’s disappointing that some Asian American community still don’t engage in the conversation of racism. But I’m trying to understand them.
I found out that my parents generation don’t care much about these issues. Their community just don’t even acknowledge the issue of racism and that’s deeply disappointing. However, I’m trying to understand them. I realize I don’t have right to judge my parents generation given how much they’ve gone through to survive and to fit in.
Introducing Justice x Love Model
Here’s a simple 2×2 that matrix that I drew to make sense of different reactions. (Thank you Andy Crouch for giving me the inspiration on his article.) The vertical axis is Justice. The higher you are located in the vertical axis, the stronger you are seeking Justice. The horizontal axis is Love/Unity with others. This is where you seek to unite with people outside of your norm/community who holds different values. By definition, this is a status of being vulnerable. To name a few examples of this behavior;
- Ask questions and listen humbly: A genuine gesture to understand others
- Seeking Mercy (Ask for forgiveness): A humble acknowledgment around the area that you’ve wounded others, regardless of your intention
- Extending Grace (Forgive) and Favor: A patient and counter-intuitive gesture to forgive and extend favor (e.g. giving another chance)
Let me start from the quadrant 3. This is where there’s no justice seeking and no vulnerability. The goal of this attitude is to remain with the status of power. People here don’t actively engage in conversation. This attitudes come across as disrespectful, ignorant and indifferent. Practicing Racism belongs here. Coercing, manipulating, gaslighting belongs here. Looting belong here. This is where the afflictions, hurts, and wounds begin. This is what we need to get rid of.
How about quadrant 2— justice seeking without any love. “Self-righteous, Entitlement, Judging” belongs here. You are in an “Attack/Revenge” mode. This can be a natural reaction when facing injustice. Someone might say “Don’t ask me to seek unity and peace. Look at what we went through. It’s time to revenge”. The agenda here is to win over, and not to be unified. There is no vulnerability — listening, pausing, contemplating as these will be considered weak and off-putting.
Even if this might seem the most effective and righteous way to restore justice, there are a lot to be cautious. You can be easily captivated by your version of justice, and keep reinforcing your view by consuming identical views from people who you associate with. You can even easily be manipulated by the media and political parties whose goal is to evoke hatred to come across their agenda. When conflict continues, we often degrade each other, distorting each other’s motives and characters. This article clearly lays out how the conflict can be escalated.
- Conflict arises when a collision of differences becomes a collision of wills. In other words, we allow the pursuit of our beliefs to become the pursuit of getting our way — or of ensuring that others do not get their way.
- Our alarm at difference leads to degradation. When the differences of a person or group appear to pose a threat to what we believe is important, we degrade their status as persons. We define them as bad: if not morally bad, then bad for business.
- Degradation leads to division. We believe it is bad to cooperate with bad. Thus we separate and distinguish ourselves from our opponents in order to stay pure, to stay right, or to stay safe.
- Division increases distance. It generates two potential responses: fight, or flight. To manage the threat we might exercise some kind of force — whether verbal or social or legal tactics — or we might remove ourselves altogether from the discomfort of engaging with our opponents.
- With distance comes distortion. The further apart we are, the less information we have about our opponents. To fill this vacuum we tell a story about our opponents, one that includes crime, plot and motive. Furthermore, stories are for telling, so we spread our unchecked assumptions and the resulting distortions and increase the likelihood that others too will distance themselves from our opponents.
- Distortions legitimize destruction. The greater the distance and the distortion, the easier it is to objectify and dehumanize, then demonize, our opponent. The wickeder we judge our opponent to be, the more legitimate it becomes to subvert them, exclude them or, even, to harm them.
This is why we might need less news in times of apparent crisis as Andy Crouch says. He gave following reasons: First and above all, at times like this what we see on “the news” is less truly informative than ever. Second, in times of crisis “news” lacks almost all context. Third, violence and violation — the destruction of property, human dignity, and in the worst cases human health and human lives — is especially harmful to watch over and over.
Now, let’s look at the quadrant 4- seeking unity/love with others but not the justice. This position can be labeled as “weak/cowardice and even cooperative”. This is a position where you just submit, give up, or fail to engage. If a husband or wife just give up on another partner’s repeated violence, they belong here. If someone from African American says they’ve given up on restoring racial injustice, they might be in here.
Another version of 4td quadrant is an attitude to keep the status quo by asking the afflicted to make peace without seeking justice. When Martin Luther King fought for the African American’s rights, there were a huge group of church leaders who asked MLK to stop by saying things like “Seek Peace”. “Let the world handles worldly matter and focus on ‘souls’, spiritual matter.”. Silent majority, complacent and passive contributor belongs here. And in some cases, this can be even more offensive than quadrant 3 status. Often, people here says all the right thing and even make mourners justify their pain. That’s one of the most hurtful things, says Shai, a Black Christian hip-hop artist. He continues.
It’s about having what feels like genuine fellowship with my white brothers and sisters who share the same Reformed theology — until I mention racism, injustice, or police brutality, at which point I’m looked at skeptically as if I embrace a “social gospel” or am some kind of “liberal” or “social justice warrior.”
Finally, let’s talk about quadrant 1: seeking maximum justice with maximum vulnerability. I call it “Restorative Justice”. This is counter intuitive, which is supposed to be extremely hard. You are talking but you are listening. You are flexible but grounded. You are emotionally charged but sober-minded. You are angry but vulnerable.
I’ve seen this before. I’ve read this from the story that Nelson Mandela extended grace to his oppressor. More than anything else, I’ve seen this from the life of Jesus Christ. According to the Bible, he is the son of God. And he committed no wrong doing (in a biblical word, no sin). And he was crucified. Jesus’s action of submitting to death was to seeking maximum Justice — (Rom3:26 — he would be just and be justifier.) When Peter said to Jesus you should never be crucified (Matt 16:22), Jesus rebuked, saying it must be done. He understood that without paying the price, you can’t restore justice. At the same time, he demonstrated extreme love and vulnerability in doing so (Phi 2:6–8 though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.)
The justice in quadrant 1 might seem not enough compared to quadrant 2 justice seeking; it can come across as slow, weak, and even offensive. When Nelson Mandela extended the gesture of grace to white authorities, a huge number of his direct supporters who wanted their version of justice were deeply offended. The justice in Jesus’ era was to fight against the oppressive Roman empire and those who are on their side such as tax collectors. Jesus didn’t seek that seemingly the most urgent and the most obvious justice.
Also, the seeking love in quadrant 1 might seem risky from quadrant 3 point of view. Those who’ve hurt by repeated racism might say to those engage in the #BLM conversation saying “Don’t you try anymore. You will be disappointed. Things will not change.”. This kind of “truthful” love can be extremely risky as it’s vulnerable. Truth seeking can offend others and rub your scar even harder. This is why it requires enormous amount of courage. Jesus showed his anger multiple times in his ministry: towards the Pharisees (hypocrites), towards the injustice (merchants at the temple), etc. He didn’t shy away from conflicts nor he feared people with authority. When Jesus met the woman in the well (John 4), Jesus confronted her with the biggest issue she’s been hiding behind. Jesus chose to love even when he foreknew that he will be betrayed by his disciples.
However, the true restoration and reconciliation only comes when we practice quadrant 1 model. During my marriage, we’ve often fought in quadrant 2 (revenge) or quadrant 4 (give up, disengage) which only escalated the division or neglected the wound. However, there were moments that we were both in quadrant 1. My wife shared once she was extremely hurt by me not being present but she wants to reconcile the matter with me. There was a time I found myself deeply wounded by certain remarks from her, but instead of secretly judging internally, I shared where I was hurt and asked her to recognize my feelings. It was extremely hard every time we pushed ourselves to practice this because this opens up our secret brokenness and make us to face it, which takes time and courage. However, the true healing and restoration only came after when we were at quadrant 1 mode.
This is a four-part series. Click here for the 2nd part
